You just made me feel so damn special
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
