Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
