Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
