I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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