Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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