One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize