if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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