Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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