you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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