Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
