i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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