Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I think people are normalizing furries
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
