so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
