i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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