Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
