I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
