What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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