I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
