plz talk dirty to me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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