u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
