I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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