I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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