I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
