i barfeds in our rink
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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