remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need a burrito and a hug.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
