Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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