every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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