I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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