I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
