dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
