I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
