Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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