So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
