I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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