people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
