omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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