well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
