I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
