would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just had sex on a roof
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
