why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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