Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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