we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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