I just made out with a guy for $7.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
