Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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