he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
