he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I supernannyed him into submission
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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