ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
