we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
