it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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