I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
