no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
