when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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