I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
