Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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