whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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