I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
