my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
