I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
