Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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