Life is so much better after having sex.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
