I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
