And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
